Cold And Broken Halleluja

After reading the Twighlight series by Stephenie Meyer, I've been wanting to write something about vampires. It's short, I know, but please critique this! It would help me alot. - ...

He spoke the words with collected grace, while the tone caused my heart to race. The sound, of which, he could surely hear, since the beat sped up, in hand ...

Okay. It's just something I had to write for English class; and, being me, it naturally was written the day before. It needs major work (duh). I'd appreciate any advice ...

There is no grass in my park; only hot metal pipes from the oven of a molten color that laughs. These spiders' webs are tangled for us to climb and ...